A roadmap... and mile markers

I LOVE mile markers.... they tell me when I'm on track and how long til I'm at my destination. I love knowing that I'm on track, and REALLY wish there were more mile markers in other areas of my life. A life of faith would be spiffy, if there were those markers that confirmed I was indeed following God and His calling... but then then, it wouldnt be faith if I had those, would it? I do still think it'd be nice. :D
On Sparkpeople, one of my teams gave the assignment to make 100mini goals for my weight loss. I was excited about the idea of it, but kind of overwhelmed by 100!!! Buuut, I tried it, and I came up with 100. Just making my list was inspiring to me! I was pretty pumped, they won't all mean something to anyone else, but that's okay, they're here to motivate me. I'm sharing them, in hopes for accountability, support, and maybe I can motivate you on your own journey.

1	first 10 lbs
2	drink 3 glasses of water - daily
3	walk 15min x3 per week
4	wii wkout - 10min x 3day/wk
5	5,000 steps day -  3 days wkly
6	lose 10 more lbs
7	go visit gwen
8	wii wkout - 15min x 3day/wk
9	7,000 steps day -  3 days wkly
10	Go to Dublin, Tx for St. Patrick's Day
11	new do - 25lb celebration
12	10min daily prayer - no multitasking
13	5,000 steps day -  5 days wkly
14	lose 10 more lbs
15	wii wkout - 20min x 3day/wk
16	walk 20min x3 per week
17	spend money on self to get clothing stuff I NEED
18	wii wkout - 30min x 3day/wk
19	limit eating out - twice per wk
20	lose 10 more lbs
21	eat fresh veggie/fruit daily
22	get a bodybugg
23	walk 30min x3 per week
24	5,000 steps day -  7 days wkly
25	limit sodas to 3 per week
26	go camping - spring
27	walk 2 mile
28	lose 10 more lbs
29	take a weekend trip to celebrate 50lbs lost
30	get ok w knee to bike
31	at 280, seeing dr about fertility
32	10,000 steps day -  3 days wkly
33	complete level 1: toastmaster
34	help BCC get Spec Kids ministry
35	walk 5 mile
36	lose 10 more lbs
37	7,000 steps day -  5 days wkly
38	walk in a 5k
39	lose 10 more lbs
40	wkend trip: celebrate ½way pt
41	go camping - summer
42	new outfit for 75lbs
43	start training to climb a mountain
44	climb a hill (500ft)
45	10,000 steps day -  5 days wkly
46	lose 10 more lbs
47	run 1 min
48	walk in a 2k
49	bike - 2min
50	take fam - summer vaca
51	finish devotional
52	lose 10 more lbs
53	bike - 5min
54	10,000 steps day -  7 days wkly
55	run 5min
56	complete 5 Bible stories
57	run 10min
58	read 5 books of Bible
59	join a community group
60	bike - 10min
61	lose 10 more lbs
62	wkend trip: celebrate 100lbs
63	reg sizes (1st since 4th grade)
64	run 15min
65	bike - 15min
66	bike w fam
67	run 3 days per week
68	complete level 2: toastmasters
69	lose 10 more lbs
70	bike at park trails w fam
71	take a karate class
72	ride in a canoe
73	start train stomach not get motion sickness
74	take bike wkend trip
75	return to school for MS degree
76	go on hike at state park - 15min
77	take an aerobic class - and keep up
78	swim a lap in a pool
79	lose 10 more lbs
80	bike at state park
81	go on hike at state park - 30min
82	contact pub for curriculum
83	read 10 books in Bible
84	start proj to present at TXABA
85	finish 2 chapters in my book
86	run 30min
87	go camping - fall
88	go hiking in state park - sev hrs
89	lose 10 more lbs
90	find & buy a dress I feel good in
91	ride a horse
92	roller skate - permission to fall
93	go backpacking in park trails
94	go camping - winter
95	retry a roller coaster - bonus pts for not ralphing & maintaining human skin color
96	ice skate - it's okay to fall
97	do 3 trainings in 2012
98	lose 10 more lbs
99	wear a skirt
100	GOAL REACHED - Have a mini-me party!!!

everyday laughter

This last week has been awesome... I've watched P try hard to do well with us, and take steps towards connecting with us. On Monday, he found out that I'd noticed some patterns in his behavior, and seemed surprised that I hadn't pushed him. That night, he started making steps towards me and connecting with me. I've treasured each step, and hope has blossomed this week. Wed's wreck brought another boost between us... I'm amazed at God's goodness to use difficult things to be agents of His goodness. P has been much more interested and willing to do stuff with me, we've had a lot of laughter and he has sought to be with me much more. I'd trade a concussion for a week of connecting with my son any day - although I AM hoping to not do this on a regular basis. lol
Today he asked to get his allowance and some other money he had converted into all ones, he was surprised that I'd do it... but he had SO much fun stacking and counting and playing with his money. He said, "you really got that many ones for me?" "Sure, I knew it wouldn't hurt anything, and it seemed like a fun thing for you." "Wow, mom" then we continued to talk about how it's hard to believe at times that we've only known each other for two months... "I explained, that it seems that he's always been a part of our life" and he added,"yeah, it seems like five years or something", watching to see what I'd say. We continued on, and both concluded that we're so glad we're here. In the moments of silence that followed, I paused to just be thankful that he's growing into our family, and we're all growing to truly be a forever family. I feel like we're coming home.

brighter hope...

I know that I KNOW I'm called to this journey of adopting P. It's not always easy, as we're teaching him that we will love him and keep him even when he acts ___(scared, angry, hurt, hyper, etc. etc). Unfortunately, being human... he doesn't just take our words, and this has to be proven on a daily basis. Especially with me, wounds from a mother run deep, and it'll take me some time to build trust with him and for him to learn to trust a new mother. It's sooo common for kids from tough backgrounds... and so vital. I wish it were the fun and cute developmental milestones, like a first word and a first step... but this is just as crucial. Instead, we'll have our own milestones to our journey... first tantrum, first time we held to a rule WITHOUT a tantrum, and tonight: our first compliment and our turning point... all in one day.
Today, I had a small wreck - no major injuries, and i thought i was fine at first, but as the day progressed, the pain in my neck worsened and I had a harder time finding words and was getting them all jumbled up. It was my day to leave early, and as I was headin home, I felt I should go and get things checked out... one prob, it was my day to pick up P. Since he'd just mentioned two days ago, that when it's my turn to pick him up, he watches for me and can see the top of my ham radio antenea sticking up between the houses, and he knows I'm coming for him... I dreaded not being able to be there for him, and didnt know how to let him know without causing panic. We had a friend pick him up, and I'd left a message with his school who promised to get a note to him. He was okay, and enjoyed the time but he told me that when he found out i'd been in a wreck, he threw up and got really upset. He explained, "You're a HUGE, huge part of the pie chart, that is my life." He checked on me throughout the evening, especially making sure that the concussion hadn't taken away all of our inside jokes and silly memories and sayings. He let his sweet side show, and his love for me.
Wow... sure puts a better spin on the day... and another step closer to eachother. :D

Starting the journey

This is my first message... and my first attempt at a blog. I wanted a place where I can share thoughts and ideas and prayer concerns with you guys, that won't be as public as FB. I'll still be limited on what I can share here, and still won't be able to paste, P's full name until the adoption is finalized. But, several of you have asked me to share our journey, and being able to do so is actually helpful to me, as well.


Ever take a walk with a young child? Not long after you set out on your walk, the excitement and eagerness wears off and they get tired... and whiny... and the walk becomes so long for tired little feet. It's not long before they plead, "Carry me, please?!?!" A few weeks ago, I had a moment like that. Still in the newness of settling P into our family and lives, added to the pull of wanting to be with family for Christmas, and weariness of sleepless night... i was exhausted and emotionally warn out. I drove home by myself and prayed to God, at least able to recognize my own exhaustion and whining. "I'm tired... and I'm weary... and I realize I'm still only at the base of the mountain and haven't even begun my real climb, and that in itself is exhausting. Will you carry me? I just need to rest before I can climb some more." God is so patient, He didn't chastise me for my thoughts or emotions and I'm glad that I know my God is big enough to handle a weary child. The next morning I woke up, with a phrase rolling over and over in my head, "upward journey". God began to show me that although the climb ahead is still a long road, it's doable... after all HE called me to this path, so HE certainly will equip me to climb it successfully. There are many areas in my life that are an upward journey... slow yet life altering changes that can only successfully be brought about step by step. God began showing me several... and how they were a long road ahead, it was a climb I could succeed.


Suddenly my health journey, and helping P adjust and thrive in our family, work, unknowns in life all seemed to ease their hold on my stride. This is a climb I can do. That day changed my outlook on life, really. I gained an eagerness and a hope for the path God has called me to, and an excitement for my own Upward Journey Home. God reminded me of a lesson that He'd taught me years ago, this journey wouldn't be a destination... but a path I get to walk until I get Home. I don't even know where all this path will take me, and what amazing sights I'll be able to see... but I DO know that He'll be with me, and that He is good. And as I walk onward, He is leading me onward.

Thanks for joining me on the journey. :D