brighter hope...

I know that I KNOW I'm called to this journey of adopting P. It's not always easy, as we're teaching him that we will love him and keep him even when he acts ___(scared, angry, hurt, hyper, etc. etc). Unfortunately, being human... he doesn't just take our words, and this has to be proven on a daily basis. Especially with me, wounds from a mother run deep, and it'll take me some time to build trust with him and for him to learn to trust a new mother. It's sooo common for kids from tough backgrounds... and so vital. I wish it were the fun and cute developmental milestones, like a first word and a first step... but this is just as crucial. Instead, we'll have our own milestones to our journey... first tantrum, first time we held to a rule WITHOUT a tantrum, and tonight: our first compliment and our turning point... all in one day.
Today, I had a small wreck - no major injuries, and i thought i was fine at first, but as the day progressed, the pain in my neck worsened and I had a harder time finding words and was getting them all jumbled up. It was my day to leave early, and as I was headin home, I felt I should go and get things checked out... one prob, it was my day to pick up P. Since he'd just mentioned two days ago, that when it's my turn to pick him up, he watches for me and can see the top of my ham radio antenea sticking up between the houses, and he knows I'm coming for him... I dreaded not being able to be there for him, and didnt know how to let him know without causing panic. We had a friend pick him up, and I'd left a message with his school who promised to get a note to him. He was okay, and enjoyed the time but he told me that when he found out i'd been in a wreck, he threw up and got really upset. He explained, "You're a HUGE, huge part of the pie chart, that is my life." He checked on me throughout the evening, especially making sure that the concussion hadn't taken away all of our inside jokes and silly memories and sayings. He let his sweet side show, and his love for me.
Wow... sure puts a better spin on the day... and another step closer to eachother. :D